Oh Man! This fan is driving me crazy. The constant swirling and the accompanied hiss is making me nauseated. As the fan swirls, it jostles the air within the confines of my sanctum sanctorum, generating what can only be defined as micro tornadoes. These tornadoes are agitating the bedsheet and the duvet with waves like that of an ocean. Even the curtains are going berserk, getting swept into the air like the north wind blows the skirts of those crazy Scotsmen. These fuckers are even fluttering my shorts and tees. Creeping me out, with the feeling as if something is crawling under my skin.
It’s hardly even a minute and my brain is already treating this hostile invasion as an irreverent nuisance and begging me to break-in those new noise canceling headphones. Even after, putting these puppies on, this sinner is still humming like a swarm of bumblebees in high noon. Hey! dude [Mr. God], please send those minions of yours to help me refrain from fucking this sinner over.
So, the genius that I am, I did try to look for a fan with silencers but man; are they expensive or what. I am absolutely certain that the inventor of these swirling bastards must have despised humans or was deaf. Why else would he have not made these lunatics silent?
But in part, I am also to be blamed. Why the heck did I choose this medieval torture device and that too with reflecting golden rims on rotor. These abominations reflect like disco balls. I may be exaggerating here, but they sure seem to reflect too much light from that minuscule night lamp on the other end of the room. I bet you even Hades has one of these in his VIP chambers, reserved only for the likes of Hitler. Just, just look at it. Nodding its neck in arrogance as if it is taunting me.
Fan: Pssst….. MATE, don’t make me come down there.
And stop looking at me with those hateful eyes.
I have been nothing but good to you.
You see, I have eyes too.
I know you what you are ranting about me on that phone of yours.
I am not kidding I will come down there.
Any time now… sure…just keep looking at me like that … and anytime now.
Me: Relax, relax you freak.
Okay, I am looking away now just don’t do anything rad.
Be cool man.
Wooooha…, that was a close one. Just thinking about the blood bath that it would have created gives me Hibby-Jibbies. This would have surely ruined all my fancy gadgets. Wait…! What fancy gadgets?
Huh, It seems I am more bothered about my gadgets than myself. I must be going cuckoo. I guess, talking to a fan surely does make you go nuts.Dude if that fan falls on you, you are cold turkey.
Meanwhile; That sinister twin was laughing his hearts out. His green eyes were glowing along with a massive grin on his face. So, I confronted him.
Me : Hey!! You, Yes! You,
Mr. Cool, I am in this tensed situation with your twin brother because of you.
Why did you bail on me when I need you most.
What do you think of yourself? That since graduated with the best cooling solutions you are special.
Well, fuck you too. Mr. AIR CONDITIONER.