Rambles of a frustrated job seeker

You spend millions for a college degree and sweat thought 100’s of exams only to find out that there’s a stupid aptitude test waiting for you to determine are you a good enough peddler for the company or not.

Suddenly your degree is not good enough to prove that, even more, ironic is that you cannot appear for those same aptitude test without a degree, go figures.

Apparently, your 16 years of school plus college [that too without counting 1-2 years of masters degree] are not enough to prove that you have any knowledge what so ever, but apparently these hour long test with odd figures and patterns will be evidence enough.

I wonder who’s genius idea, was it? If these tests are so insightful then why not just teach them in school and colleges, why put up a charade that marks and degrees hold any value.

Even more ridiculous are the requirements companies post :

  1. Relevant experience: How on earth would I have relevant experience if i just finished my course. Even companies that were founded by people who had no freaking relevant experience in the field the company operates in want candidates to have relevant experience.
  2. Strong written and verbal communication Skill: Yhea, right I passed school and college with having to write to verbally communicate to anyone. In fact, I and my friends jump around like monkeys when we want to point to a hot girl and fling our feces when we want to bitch about someone.
  3. Entrepreneurial: Off course, I will join your company rather than starting my own company.
  4. Curiosity and excellent investigative skills: Why not, after all these two qualities are the biggest contributors to death in horror movies. I am not freaking applying to be a detective nor for the post of Curious George.
  5. Certification of skills: Sure, I was just doing warmup for that during my Masters in Business Analysis course now I will give, almost the same amount to be tested yet again by someone who will say the same on a somewhat better grade paper than my master’s degree.

Lastly, This line “However, these are not essential requirements”, just makes me want to strangle someone when I receive a rejection letter stating “We are not pursuing your application further as you didn’t meet all our requirements”.

However, all the rumblings aside:

If you know about a job or can refer me for one, please let me know. I can meet all the above stated “Non-Essential” requirements.

Hit me up on LinkedIn or any other social media platform or email at i.ankit.agarwal@me.com.

I am a recent graduate from Warwick Business School, with a master’s in Business Analytics for which I quit my full-time job of 5 years as a production engineer to formalize and polish my analytical and managerial skills.

I am a qualified Chemical Engineer with lean six sigma certification and extensive experience in oil and gas industry with ample exposure to various aspects of high stakes logistics management and liability mitigation that bestowed me with knowledge on how to implement innovative strategies based on data-driven insights to convert analytics into actionable strategies and facilitate decision making.

I have designed frameworks for data-entry and tracking in logistics operations as well as hold a few accolades for designing, restructuring, and management of cross-functional reports, dashboards and ERP modules with a proven track record of analyzing functional requirements and collaborating with offsite development teams.

Having worked on various time-sensitive projects with strict safety regulations and financial accountability as well as few academic projects on dynamic pricing for airlines, credit card fraud detection using data analytics and service delivery improvement and optimization, I believe I can supplemental to the demands of any role that you may have in data analytics or business analytics alike.



Your alarm starts blaring, disrupting your sweet slumber. So, unwilling and frustratingly you struggle to steal a peek at the cell for the time, that you already know, as you were the one who set the alarm. Yet you hit the snooze button just to enjoy those extra few seconds of not having to face the world yet again. But time stops for none, and the alarm being a faithful reminder of that goes off once again; jostling you from your dreams of glory to face the not so glorious world with all you got. But this faithful servant of yours once again miscalculated your willingness and strength, because once again you with your half-open left eye, reach for that amber snooze button just to steal yet a few more seconds of silence before pandemonium. But alas, you pay your servants a little to generously as it doesn’t stop blaring until you actually wake up or maybe kill it by hitting that STOP button.



Life lessons from Lobsters ​

There’s an interesting, urban myth about lobsters. When you cook a pot of male lobsters, you have to keep a lid on the cooking pot because when they realize they’re in a pot of boiling water, they try to escape even-though, they know it is futile. On the contrary, when cooking female lobsters, you don’t need to put a lid on the pot, as they don’t show such willingness to escape as they know there’s no point in fighting a fight, which they have already lost. So, they just hold their claws and brace each other for the impending doom.

Although, this is factually incorrect, as lobster have a ganglionic nervous system and they do not feel pain like us. In fact, boiling or steaming them is the most humane and quickest way to kill. Never the less, this myth still sites a good question about life. Should we die fighting or surrender to the whims of time?

Well, What I feel is, knowing when to surrender or quit is equally important as knowing how to keep on fighting or not giving up. Off course, perseverance and never backing down from a challenge are desired qualities, if you want to be successful in life, relationship or even career. After all, One can’t just give up! There are a thousand reasons for continuing with something past the point where you should stop. But perhaps it might be impossible to “just stop”. However, more often then not we consider perseverance to strive for gold as the only norm for being successful because giving up is labeled, trivial or cowardly. In my opinion, many of the “buts” are mostly a figment of the imagination. In fact, they are just a case of mis-staken identity. You, and your goals are two separate things. Never giving up, is just a load of bullshit that we have brewed ourselves, out of the fear of social judgment and prejudice on our own abilities. We sugarcoat the rationale for not backing off with a pretext of psychological comfort often attributing it to the fear of the unknown, aka atychiphobia or the self-inflicted need of not causing a social uproar by upsetting others, that too, just because we falsely and inconspicuous, assign safety and entropy to perseverance and persistence. This obsession with never giving up is not perseverance, for the lack of a better word it is actually blind persistence. It is this blind persistence that eventually turns any quest into an exhausting and useless ordeal.

Yes!, it is logical to think that, if we were to endure a little longer or persistently work on something, then maybe with time we will fix all the problems and reach our goals. But isn’t it also logical to think, that things don’t always go the way we want them too? Even if we work tirelessly, trying to make things right by overlooking the fact, that our very attempts to fix things might be having a negative impact on them as well as on us. So, instead of being persistent in such futile fixes and enduring the pain and ordeal of living through troubled times among other things, is it not sometimes imperative to give up, just plain, old and simple, “STOP”.

One may argue, Yes!, it is true to let go of our goals and other trivial quests since, they can be readily replaced with other and better ones, but what about jobs, relationships, and friendships? After all, they are not easy to come by, one must work for them if they want to be happy in life. To that I only say this, Sure, working toward a worthwhile goal is elating and exciting but the moment you lose excitement about your achievements you should understand that probably it is not what you wanted, it is just what you do as it is not catering to your innate desires. As Cloris Kylie says and i quote, “You’ve become used to striving and never arriving.”. Although knowing when to quit may seem a convoluted idea but think upon it, not giving up on a job, a relationship or friendships can more often than not, make you unhappy or even physically and emotionally ill. What good a job is, if you are just doing it for the money but have no other incentives or receive no recognition for it; what good a relationship is, if the partners are not committed to it or there is no room for love anymore; what good a friendship is, if you are the only one hooting for it.

If a quest takes over all other aspects of your life then you must learn to let go of it, life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest; all thing that hinders this must be reconsidered by weighing their reason for continuation against that of life itself, because if you let your blind persistence overpower the aspects of your mental, emotional or physical wellbeing then any way you will lose all your physical strength as well as your coveted social assets like friends, family, and love.

OK, enough babel about why one should learn to give up, but how to determine, if it’s time to give up? The simplest and sure shot solution, that I can think of is, asking this question to yourself, What would be my life if I just stopped trying to solve it? And if, your inner aura answers, freedom and exhilaration then probably its time you gave up on it. Agreed that many things are iterative and demand continuous improvements and growth but at the same time, some things remand step changes and the decision to “give up” is one of those. So, it is important that you simply rip off the plaster on them. Painful, yes, but if you don’t, they will end up taking a huge chunk from your life, because just face it, continued work on a Gordian knot, expecting a solution with each iteration will ultimately lead to frustration and unbeknown you will begin to sabotage your own efforts.

It is always advisable to contemplate and reassess the outcome or needs of your goal and, if they seem realistic then you should see to their resolution. If not, it’s best that you reassess your commitment and avarice towards the goal in question. Don’t fall for the “what if ?” rouse. What if, I gave up now and then someone else did the same idea and got rich? What if, I just keep going another month? I recommend, to let your gut feeling guide you. You are most attuned to your intuition, learn to trust them and let them guide you to the places, you’re meant to go, the career you’re meant to have, and the people you’re meant to meet.

Speaking from personal experience, I spent half a decade working for a company, rejecting a job, I actually wanted to do because I had fallen into an agenda about the city I was in. Even-thought it was not stressful, but it sure was hard, my success was measured by random bets and the money was just decent. I was spending time on things that might work, not on things that were working. It was a good candidate to “give up”. The only advice I needed was to hear, “What the hell are you doing?, Just give up”. Not that it wasn’t offered, but perhaps, I didn’t listen, or maybe, I needed someone to give it to me straight. Although I didn’t waste my time there, but the prospect of being locked into something that was not working out, and was actually dragging me down was much worst. In the end, I quit, man was it hard. At first, it was horrible, there were a fair few failure-phobes, few who respected taking it easy more than trying and failing and even those who preferred the dull path. But I feed the inner best, my biggest asset – myself, by giving it up.

Sure, making the decision to give up is not be easy, may even cause you temporary pain, emotional trauma or remorse, but once you overcome these negative emotions, you’ll be able to welcome loving and uplifting thoughts into your life, opening a door to fulfilling and joyful life experiences, setting you on a path of learning, growth, and expansion!

So all in all, here are the 7 erogenous zones to touch when accessing whether to give it or not, not those of women, according to “Monica Gelllller :

  1. Just Listen to yourself
  2. Re-tally your numbers
  3. Get outside evaluation
  4. Be ready to rip off the plaster
  5. Take Atychiphobia head on
  6. Vanquish the “what if” worm, and
  7. Remember the cost of opportunity

7 erogenous zones ​in a women

Further Reading :

Chandler in you

Chandler in you


We all have a Chandler M. Bing inside of us, after all, who among us has not been made fun of at one point or other in life. It may have been due to our name or social awkwardness or for just being ourselves, and probably this is why Chandler is one of the most relatable and beloved fictional characters to have ever stared on the small screen.

Muriel. Why would he call you Muriel, Oh my God, Chandler M. Bing
Chandler M. Bing
He is Funny,Sarcastic, Socially awkward with a briefcase full of unresolved issues ranging from family, to love, to career and avoids confrontations and drama.

Chandler Scares Joey

Wait a minute, Hold the phone,You're not Elezibeth's dad

They're telling us, about how they adopted you, What?
Socially Awkward

It's always better to lie than to have the complicated disscussion
Doesn’t Confront

Did that guy just call you Toby? Yeah, he thinks that's my name.Why don't you correct him? Oh, it's been way too long now.
Avoids Drama
Is self-sabotaging and constantly critical of himself. Has commitment phobia and gets irrationally insecure. For him his platonic connections are everything.
And just like Chandler, who uses his satirical persona to shield himself from having to deal with his unresolved issues; We all have once or twice used the same to avoid confrontation with a lot of family, love,career, and self-esteem related issue. Although we may not be as satirical as Chandler, or not be able to make jokes like him but we sure do try to be when we are uncomfortable. So, that instead of us having to avoid people; People themselves keep a distance from us due to our dark, snarky and unapologetic humor.

I m not good at the advice, Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?
Like him we all are our own worst enemies, constantly self-sabotaging, constantly being too critical of our own choices and always having an almost obsessive-compulsive desire to be as insufferable as possible especially in front loved ones. Often overlooking the fact that by just being a little more honest with people, we can totally avoid the dreaded dramas and confrontations. For example, instead of just telling his co-worker that his name was not Toby, chandler blocks his promotion and trashes his own office.

Don't tell me, Because of the big nostril thing?, They were huge
Critical of his Choices

Hey hey Hey, Look what you're doing to chandler
Is Insufferable
Although, most of the Friends group had trouble connecting with their families and they depended on each other as their surrogate families, but for Chandler, this dysfunctional group of 30 somethings was his real family. You may argue that he considered the group his real family only because of his unrevoked resentment towards his father and over-sharing mother, and to some extent you are right.

Somehow, over time,it got easier to be apart from you.
Troublesome Family

Well, I relied on a carefully regimented program,of denial,and wetting the bed.
Denial and Bed-Wetting
But,inadvertently or not, every one of us, after a certain age have trouble connecting to our biological family either due to our own intolerance of their nuances or their intolerance of our quirks and we all rely on our friends not because they tolerate our quirks and nuances but because with them we can let go of our guard and be who we actually are without being judged or patronized for it.
But yeah, family or friends teasing cannot be ruled out though.

A quality.,Good. I was worried,you were gonna be vague about this.
May be…Ga?y?
Chandler is introduced as someone who has his life together and has financial stability. But later we find out that, this is not what he actually wanted to do. Of course, It is only natural to strive for financial stability, who doesn’t want money? After all, it is what the world considers as the yardstick to measure if we have our lives together or not. But in reality, by clinging on to a job just because it pays the bill, we are essentially just shedding a blanket of stability on underlying insecurities and aspirations by blocking our true emotions.

What if I had had the guts to quit my job? I'd probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny.
Writing for the New Yorker
We may all have a chandler bing inside of us, but believe me, you, when I say, rarely anyone of us has the guts to do what he did and when he did. In fact, It is Chandler who taught us one of the greatest lessons on the show as well as in life, by actually having the guts to quit his well-paying and secure job to do something that was creatively satisfying to him and that too after getting married.
Last but not least, Love. We see chandler with his fair share of relationships over the course of series.
Chandler's GirlfriendsChandler’s Girlfriends
At first, he seems deeply messed up when it comes to love as evident from his numerous break-up and patch-ups with Janice. In fact, he himself admits to it.But then too he keeps on self-sabotaging and falling into doomed relationships. In fact, the only stable relationship he had before Monica was with joey.

Bitter Town,Alone-ville, Hermit Junction!
Deeply Flawed in Love

Clearly, you're having sex with him.
Like him, we too are a stickler for unrequited love, in spite of knowing that these one-sided love will never be returned, we still continue clinging onto them. Even if, somehow we garner the courage to express this love and it is actually reciprocated,often end up sabotaging it because of our irrational insecurities, never actually giving it credit to flourish into unconditional love. Like what he did to Kathy.
You see, when Chandler and Monica get together, their relationship works because it is essentially a friendship before love. But we always, foolishly, tend to seek love before friendship. If you are friends before committing to love, you learn to accept the quirks of each other because in friendships we don’t hide who we are and this nakedness empowers the relationship, as you and your partner both see the good in each other, that other people might miss.
For example, Monica knows chandler well enough that she often stops him from reverting to his usual self-sabotage. It is her patience that sets him back on track, bringing out the best and bravest version of him where he learns to open up, commit and let go of the pains from past.

Hi, I m Chandler, I make jokes when I'm Unconfortable
Makes Joke when Unconfortable

So, my point is don’t worry if you mess it up with Janice as to every Janice there is a Monica waiting for you.

So, to conclude, he is the only character from the series who grew the most in life as well as in emotional maturity. Eventhough, he was predicted to be the last one to settle down but, in the end, he was the first one to settle down into a stable and lasting relationship.Hence, giving us hope that we can overcome our deep personal wounds and stop them from getting in our own way.

Links and References:


Rationally Irational

A while ago someone,

whom i have grown to adore and respect not only for the fitful exuberance but also for the indefatigable deftness in distilling soulful and picturesque emotion by the infallible sagacity in choice of words that eloquently succour the baroque and beguiling poems

Dedicated a poem to me capturing the reflection of my thoughts.

But the thing with thoughts is, they are very tricky and often misleading. Eventhough human thoughts are classified as either rational or irrational but we have this unquenchable urge to always be rational. So, we keep on sugarcoating or disguising even most insane and ludicrous thoughts as rational. Thought rational thoughts, as the definition itself points out, should have scientific or logical coherence but no matter how logically coherent or cohesive you are about realities of life (especially death) such thoughts are always deemed irrational. While no matter how incoherent or illogical hope may be, all thoughts of hope and blissful anticipation are declared rational.

It is this exact attitude of mislabeling and castrating rationality that has led to tossing off and repression of true rational thoughts. Interestingly the well where such thoughts are tossed off has been given a very sophisticated name “The Willpower” so, as to foster a pseudo sense of emotional strength and superiority in repression of such thoughts. We always like to view things under a vanilla light and any complicated or morally challenging topics are dogged off than actually blabbing or admitting to them out in open. Any talk of death or other harsh realities is considered vindictive, chaotic and irrational, overlooking the fact, that somewhere deep within the dungeon of our conscious mind they have an order and a rationale.

So here is my answer to that very poem in the form of an answer (उत्तर ) to a question (प्रश्न), instead of labeling them as rational (तर्क) or irrational (तर्कहीन). It’s up to you, the readers, to decide which title describes which poem, as am just projecting both the rational (तर्क) and irrational (तर्कहीन) out into the open.



काश कुछ ऐसा हो जाए

ये वक्त चलता रहे,

ये लम्हे चलते रहें,

ये पहर चलता रहे,

बस मेरी उम्र थम जाए।

मैं समेट लूँ सारी यादें,

मैं सहेज लूँ सारे पलों को,

देख लूँ जी भर के

उन आँखों को,

इस दुनिया में जिनसे सबसे पहले रूबरू हुआ।

मैं थाम लूँ उस ऊंगली को

जो कभी मुझे थामे चली थी।

वो खिलखिलाती हँसी

जो कभी मेरे साथ खेली थी।

बस इतनी सी ही तो ख्वाहिश है,

बे-वक्त के इस मुसाफिर की।

छोटी सी राह का जिसका

बस तीसरा हिस्सा है बाकी।।

आकर क़रीब अपनों के और थोड़ा,

कुछ और अच्छा कर जाऊँ।

छोटे से इस सफर के

सुकून भरे पलों को

यादों में पिरो जाऊँ।

या फिर

रहकर दूर उनसे,

ग़म के बवन्डर से बचाने को उनको,

बेरूखी वाला मुखौटा ओढ़ जाऊँ।।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि तूने जो भी दिया

झोली भर के दिया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि दिये हुए हौसले से तेरे

अपने दम पर कुछ किया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि कई ख्वाबों को अपने

मैंने हकी़कत में जिया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि जरा से वक्त में ही

तेरे होने को समझ लिया।

ईबादतग़ार हूँ तेरा

शिकायतग़ार नहीं,

कि अलग बनाकर भी तूने

खास बना दिया।। — रूह

This poem is the best gift i have ever received from someone. someone whom i have grown to adore and respect not only for the fitful exuberance but also for the Indefatigable deftness in distilling soulful and picturesque emotion by the infallible sagacity in choice of words that eloquently succour the baroque and beguiling poems.

Thanks M ,

By the way this only of the poems from M rest assured 100’s more to come…..

​ The Good and The Bad, Leaders

​ The Good and The Bad, Leaders

In reality, there is no such thing as a good leader. Who is good and who is bad, mainly depends upon the context or the period in concern. One leader is good while the other one is bad, not because some leaders are monsters while others merciful. But because states don’t have interests, people do.

Everything in politics from war to foreign aid, to political dynasties to corruption, is all about survival and power, not about welfare or doing good for the society.

Always, remember bad behavior is almost always good politics.
After all, no king can be good, kind, or glorious if his royal subjects are poor.

Here are a few points that may help you make your own inference.

  • Political Generosity:
    It’s is not about strategy or purpose; it’s about benefits because power always begets Power. Political Generosity is merely a means to get the community or state to make choices and actions that they want.
    [examples: West Bengal’s Ruling parties, outrageous generosity to a specific community]
  • Good Governance and Policies:
    Why? do you think, it’s even a thing? Certainly, not because the leaders care about social justice and welfare, or out of the goodness of their hearts. They are so as to reward the blocks that get and keeps them in power.
    [examples: Right to Information Act. by UPA in India, A clean Ganga mission by almost every government since 1985 but virtually no result ever]
  • Altruism:
    Even if certain actions by ruling parties look altruistic, but leaders are not meant to be altruistic. It simply isn’t their bean stock. Instead, they must balance the interests of their keys to power no matter how big or small.
    [Examples: Demonetization in India, 100% allowance to Foreign Direct Investment by the ruling party which vehemently opposed the same when they were in opposition]
  • Citizen Welfare and Growth:
    It’s not because leaders in democracies are better people or even because their needs are aligned with a larger portion of the population. But because the things that make the citizens more productive in a democracy, also make the lives of their leaders better.

    Dictatorships have most of their wealth dug out of the ground, like gold or oil or diamonds which can be exploited even while keeping the citizens, outside the production cycle; hence, no need for welfare and concern for citizen growth. As a matter of fact, this will hold true even for democracies, if they were suddenly to stumble upon huge reserves of natural resources as decreed by the Natural Resource Curse principal.
    [Example: Communism in West Bengal or Odisha, The league of bad chief ministers in Jharkhand]

Image CC