Rumbels of an insomanic : Continued

Oh Man! This fan is driving me crazy. The constant swirling and the accompanied hiss is making me nauseated. As the fan swirls, it jostles the air within the confines of my sanctum sanctorum, generating what can only be defined as micro tornadoes. These tornadoes are agitating the bedsheet and the duvet with waves like that of an ocean. Even the curtains are going berserk, getting swept into the air like the north wind blows the skirts of those crazy Scotsmen. These fuckers are even fluttering my shorts and tees. Creeping me out, with the feeling as if something is crawling under my skin.

It’s hardly even a minute and my brain is already treating this hostile invasion as an irreverent nuisance and begging me to break-in those new noise canceling headphones. Even after, putting these puppies on, this sinner is still humming like a swarm of bumblebees in high noon. Hey! dude [Mr. God], please send those minions of yours to help me refrain from fucking this sinner over.

So, the genius that I am, I did try to look for a fan with silencers but man; are they expensive or what. I am absolutely certain that the inventor of these swirling bastards must have despised humans or was deaf. Why else would he have not made these lunatics silent?

But in part, I am also to be blamed. Why the heck did I choose this medieval torture device and that too with reflecting golden rims on rotor. These abominations reflect like disco balls. I may be exaggerating here, but they sure seem to reflect too much light from that minuscule night lamp on the other end of the room. I bet you even Hades has one of these in his VIP chambers, reserved only for the likes of Hitler. Just, just look at it. Nodding its neck in arrogance as if it is taunting me.

Fan: Pssst….. MATE, don’t make me come down there. 

And stop looking at me with those hateful eyes. 

I have been nothing but good to you. 

You see, I have eyes too.

I know you what you are ranting about me on that phone of yours.

I am not kidding I will come down there.

Any time now… sure…just keep looking at me like that … and anytime now.
Me: Relax, relax you freak. 

Okay, I am looking away now just don’t do anything rad. 

Be cool man.

Be cool.

Wooooha…, that was a close one. Just thinking about the blood bath that it would have created gives me Hibby-Jibbies. This would have surely ruined all my fancy gadgets. Wait…! What fancy gadgets?

Huh, It seems I am more bothered about my gadgets than myself. I must be going cuckoo. I guess, talking to a fan surely does make you go nuts.Dude if that fan falls on you, you are cold turkey.

Meanwhile; That sinister twin was laughing his hearts out. His green eyes were glowing along with a massive grin on his face. So, I confronted him.

Me : Hey!! You, Yes! You, 

Mr. Cool, I am in this tensed situation with your twin brother because of you. 

Why did you bail on me when I need you most. 

What do you think of yourself? That since graduated with the best cooling solutions you are special. 

Well, fuck you too. Mr. AIR CONDITIONER. 

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Who are you

Who are you

You are nobody the world doesn’t give a rats ass about your existence. A speck of dust that will be brushed off from history in seconds. All the accomplishments of the lifetime are nothing that the world has never seen or will not see, you are just a phase under passing. Your existence is not essential for the world you are just a probability that happened or may be a conspiracy that physics played to provide entropy to the universe, either way, you are just a random consequence on a cosmic scale.

Lakshmanpur Beach : Havelock Island - Andaman and Nicobar

You may think of yourself to be the smartest but be aware you have not seen the real world out there. No amount of fame or convection will titillate the world or history so that they remember you; history is too quick to judge and too old to bother, you are merely a blimp on time. In fact, for all practical purposes, you don’t exist for this world. You may be a maverick or plane old dogmatic theists but the cogs of time will grind you like a pebble to dust. You must bow to this babbling brook of time and surrender to this reality, the sooner you realise how insignificant you are to the cosmos and how time is a ruthless tyrant, the faster you learn how to assimilate into this breakout black hole.

Remember If Prometheus betrayed titans to help your kind only to be damned for eternity, to be devoured for aeons he must have seen something that made him steal the most coveted power and relinquish it to the feeble mankind. If he could see it then surely you can see or seek it now. Don’t be discontent with this world, it’s as fair to you as it is to the others. Complaining about it will not help you persevere your deeds, you must approach them head on like a Mongol under khan. The perpetual motion of this world will not halt to accommodate you, it’s you who have to hop on to this hurdling spaceship in the ocean of time. If you fall behind you are bound to get crushed under it. No amount of motivation will be incentive enough unless it’s you who want to do it. Success is and has always been elusive, but as long as you don’t garner the courage to propose to it. You must let go of the unnecessary baggages and pseudo sense of control on life. This control is temporal and baggages are just dragging you to the abyss.

As quantum mechanics dictates if you close your eyes the world must cease to exist because its act of observation that brings the true nature of matter as well as reality. In fact, the entirety of the universe is just a probability so it doesn’t matter if you yourself are a probability. Once you learn to see this universe as merely an illusion or may be a simulation brought to inception by your act of observing it.

https://jaapberghoeffotografiedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/mirrored-desires.jpg?w=640&h=396

You will realise the true superpower nature has endowed you with. The emptiness of space as well slumber of the world is and has always been uncomfortable, inhospitable and cruel not only to you but to the entirety of the universe. Never blame circumstances they are just bitter realities that we have created in order to justify our cowardliness. You must learn to break out of the vicious circle; It has always been you and yourself against the world. No one is interested in your failures but everyone one will always want a piece of cake from your engagement party to success. Sooner you realise that It’s always has been you who is responsible for all the ups and downs of your life faster you will fathom the reality of never looking up to the world for pity.

Just engrave this in your book of life: You are you and nobody should be able to deny that or take away it from you. This world is and will always we against you but never let that delineate you from the goals and unadulterated love for success. If you want something with enough sedition and dedication there no force powerful enough that will take that away from you.

What is nostalgia

What is nostalgia

It’s the essence of existence that makes you feel alive, cherishes and cared. An extravagant sense of just being. Nostalgia, like the mildew, slowly creeps on you while you are not paying attention, mountain grass perfume calling you to those mysterious memory lanes. It is the most reliant fail-safe mechanism that was pre-packed in our DNA by evolution; providing contrast to the predicament of life that tends to be monotonous by the hour. It like jack’s beanstalk taking you to the clouds. So, that you may look upon your puny mortal self and ponder what brought you there. Being nostalgic is the feeling that you have after waking from an afternoon siesta, refreshes you in a jiffy. Once you take a dip into this youth fountain blissfully pulsing with yearning for misty smell reminding of your childhood, friendships long lost into the rubbles of time, gilded mischiefs with friends and siblings, mentally itched holidays and festivities with family, those retarded discussion that went on for hours, limitless roles where you played you own hero.
It’s a gust of winds drifting you to simpler times when being: thrifty was caution, a vulnerability was the strength, pinkie swears were commitments, walking through a dark room was the adventure, imaginativeness was the job and inviting friends to birthday was the greatest happiness. We often close the book as a chapter of life ends, never to read it again but nostalgia wrenches our desires to revisit those ends. Ever so reminding you to the fact that the world will keep going even if everything went wrong but life may not there for you must keep on going writing those chapters so as to be able to revisit those ends when everything goes wrong.
It is the wish come true for a time machine that you always wanted so you could see things in their former glory, fringing on the edge your imaginative universe, wishing you were among those stars.

Nostalgia is the perfect mirror for the ghosts of past, present and future: aptly captured by my dear Friend Manish Shukla :

Sprung in the dawn of relentless flow,
she used to stroll down the lane and steer
to the world, she was an uncaring brat,
No water in her eyes, no drums in her ears,
Nobody knew her, and still, everybody did,

the assumption of reality and reality were no near
An aura that bound her inner soul beneath,
That kept the edges sharp, blunt and clear
But there was something that pushed me to her,
that glowing flame, hidden in the darkness sheer

I saw her in the morning, stomping on the road,
Morning came out the word and made her face cheer
the aghast her in eyes took me aback,
and then the smile she flaunted took me near
soon the time lapsed, and smiles became words,

then there came the time when there only words and no fears
A vast ocean of feel, a pool of emotions,
The hard shell around her contained a pool of tears,
as the words kept going, and the roads between eloped,
the words went on, on the shore, near the river

took me a while to finally feel her life,
the ups, the downs. the cries, the fears
the world made her, a pile of fury
locked in mistrust, too hard to peer
as I went into her eyes, the spark unveiled,

she was the angel that I sought, saw and hear
she was everything I was, a reflection of my soul
that’s when it felt, I am her seer
she seemed rude, rough and the upfront fight for them,
they never really knew, that she was just being a MIRROR!