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Life lessons from Lobsters ​

There’s an interesting, urban myth about lobsters. When you cook a pot of male lobsters, you have to keep a lid on the cooking pot because when they realize they’re in a pot of boiling water, they try to escape even-though, they know it is futile. On the contrary, when cooking female lobsters, you don’t need to put a lid on the pot, as they don’t show such willingness to escape as they know there’s no point in fighting a fight, which they have already lost. So, they just hold their claws and brace each other for the impending doom.

Although, this is factually incorrect, as lobster have a ganglionic nervous system and they do not feel pain like us. In fact, boiling or steaming them is the most humane and quickest way to kill. Never the less, this myth still sites a good question about life. Should we die fighting or surrender to the whims of time?

Well, What I feel is, knowing when to surrender or quit is equally important as knowing how to keep on fighting or not giving up. Off course, perseverance and never backing down from a challenge are desired qualities, if you want to be successful in life, relationship or even career. After all, One can’t just give up! There are a thousand reasons for continuing with something past the point where you should stop. But perhaps it might be impossible to “just stop”. However, more often then not we consider perseverance to strive for gold as the only norm for being successful because giving up is labeled, trivial or cowardly. In my opinion, many of the “buts” are mostly a figment of the imagination. In fact, they are just a case of mis-staken identity. You, and your goals are two separate things. Never giving up, is just a load of bullshit that we have brewed ourselves, out of the fear of social judgment and prejudice on our own abilities. We sugarcoat the rationale for not backing off with a pretext of psychological comfort often attributing it to the fear of the unknown, aka atychiphobia or the self-inflicted need of not causing a social uproar by upsetting others, that too, just because we falsely and inconspicuous, assign safety and entropy to perseverance and persistence. This obsession with never giving up is not perseverance, for the lack of a better word it is actually blind persistence. It is this blind persistence that eventually turns any quest into an exhausting and useless ordeal.

Yes!, it is logical to think that, if we were to endure a little longer or persistently work on something, then maybe with time we will fix all the problems and reach our goals. But isn’t it also logical to think, that things don’t always go the way we want them too? Even if we work tirelessly, trying to make things right by overlooking the fact, that our very attempts to fix things might be having a negative impact on them as well as on us. So, instead of being persistent in such futile fixes and enduring the pain and ordeal of living through troubled times among other things, is it not sometimes imperative to give up, just plain, old and simple, “STOP”.

One may argue, Yes!, it is true to let go of our goals and other trivial quests since, they can be readily replaced with other and better ones, but what about jobs, relationships, and friendships? After all, they are not easy to come by, one must work for them if they want to be happy in life. To that I only say this, Sure, working toward a worthwhile goal is elating and exciting but the moment you lose excitement about your achievements you should understand that probably it is not what you wanted, it is just what you do as it is not catering to your innate desires. As Cloris Kylie says and i quote, “You’ve become used to striving and never arriving.”. Although knowing when to quit may seem a convoluted idea but think upon it, not giving up on a job, a relationship or friendships can more often than not, make you unhappy or even physically and emotionally ill. What good a job is, if you are just doing it for the money but have no other incentives or receive no recognition for it; what good a relationship is, if the partners are not committed to it or there is no room for love anymore; what good a friendship is, if you are the only one hooting for it.

If a quest takes over all other aspects of your life then you must learn to let go of it, life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest; all thing that hinders this must be reconsidered by weighing their reason for continuation against that of life itself, because if you let your blind persistence overpower the aspects of your mental, emotional or physical wellbeing then any way you will lose all your physical strength as well as your coveted social assets like friends, family, and love.

OK, enough babel about why one should learn to give up, but how to determine, if it’s time to give up? The simplest and sure shot solution, that I can think of is, asking this question to yourself, What would be my life if I just stopped trying to solve it? And if, your inner aura answers, freedom and exhilaration then probably its time you gave up on it. Agreed that many things are iterative and demand continuous improvements and growth but at the same time, some things remand step changes and the decision to “give up” is one of those. So, it is important that you simply rip off the plaster on them. Painful, yes, but if you don’t, they will end up taking a huge chunk from your life, because just face it, continued work on a Gordian knot, expecting a solution with each iteration will ultimately lead to frustration and unbeknown you will begin to sabotage your own efforts.

It is always advisable to contemplate and reassess the outcome or needs of your goal and, if they seem realistic then you should see to their resolution. If not, it’s best that you reassess your commitment and avarice towards the goal in question. Don’t fall for the “what if ?” rouse. What if, I gave up now and then someone else did the same idea and got rich? What if, I just keep going another month? I recommend, to let your gut feeling guide you. You are most attuned to your intuition, learn to trust them and let them guide you to the places, you’re meant to go, the career you’re meant to have, and the people you’re meant to meet.

Speaking from personal experience, I spent half a decade working for a company, rejecting a job, I actually wanted to do because I had fallen into an agenda about the city I was in. Even-thought it was not stressful, but it sure was hard, my success was measured by random bets and the money was just decent. I was spending time on things that might work, not on things that were working. It was a good candidate to “give up”. The only advice I needed was to hear, “What the hell are you doing?, Just give up”. Not that it wasn’t offered, but perhaps, I didn’t listen, or maybe, I needed someone to give it to me straight. Although I didn’t waste my time there, but the prospect of being locked into something that was not working out, and was actually dragging me down was much worst. In the end, I quit, man was it hard. At first, it was horrible, there were a fair few failure-phobes, few who respected taking it easy more than trying and failing and even those who preferred the dull path. But I feed the inner best, my biggest asset – myself, by giving it up.

Sure, making the decision to give up is not be easy, may even cause you temporary pain, emotional trauma or remorse, but once you overcome these negative emotions, you’ll be able to welcome loving and uplifting thoughts into your life, opening a door to fulfilling and joyful life experiences, setting you on a path of learning, growth, and expansion!

So all in all, here are the 7 erogenous zones to touch when accessing whether to give it or not, not those of women, according to “Monica Gelllller :

  1. Just Listen to yourself
  2. Re-tally your numbers
  3. Get outside evaluation
  4. Be ready to rip off the plaster
  5. Take Atychiphobia head on
  6. Vanquish the “what if” worm, and
  7. Remember the cost of opportunity

7 erogenous zones ​in a women

Further Reading :

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Who are you

Who are you

You are nobody the world doesn’t give a rats ass about your existence. A speck of dust that will be brushed off from history in seconds. All the accomplishments of the lifetime are nothing that the world has never seen or will not see, you are just a phase under passing. Your existence is not essential for the world you are just a probability that happened or may be a conspiracy that physics played to provide entropy to the universe, either way, you are just a random consequence on a cosmic scale.

Lakshmanpur Beach : Havelock Island - Andaman and Nicobar

You may think of yourself to be the smartest but be aware you have not seen the real world out there. No amount of fame or convection will titillate the world or history so that they remember you; history is too quick to judge and too old to bother, you are merely a blimp on time. In fact, for all practical purposes, you don’t exist for this world. You may be a maverick or plane old dogmatic theists but the cogs of time will grind you like a pebble to dust. You must bow to this babbling brook of time and surrender to this reality, the sooner you realise how insignificant you are to the cosmos and how time is a ruthless tyrant, the faster you learn how to assimilate into this breakout black hole.

Remember If Prometheus betrayed titans to help your kind only to be damned for eternity, to be devoured for aeons he must have seen something that made him steal the most coveted power and relinquish it to the feeble mankind. If he could see it then surely you can see or seek it now. Don’t be discontent with this world, it’s as fair to you as it is to the others. Complaining about it will not help you persevere your deeds, you must approach them head on like a Mongol under khan. The perpetual motion of this world will not halt to accommodate you, it’s you who have to hop on to this hurdling spaceship in the ocean of time. If you fall behind you are bound to get crushed under it. No amount of motivation will be incentive enough unless it’s you who want to do it. Success is and has always been elusive, but as long as you don’t garner the courage to propose to it. You must let go of the unnecessary baggages and pseudo sense of control on life. This control is temporal and baggages are just dragging you to the abyss.

As quantum mechanics dictates if you close your eyes the world must cease to exist because its act of observation that brings the true nature of matter as well as reality. In fact, the entirety of the universe is just a probability so it doesn’t matter if you yourself are a probability. Once you learn to see this universe as merely an illusion or may be a simulation brought to inception by your act of observing it.

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You will realise the true superpower nature has endowed you with. The emptiness of space as well slumber of the world is and has always been uncomfortable, inhospitable and cruel not only to you but to the entirety of the universe. Never blame circumstances they are just bitter realities that we have created in order to justify our cowardliness. You must learn to break out of the vicious circle; It has always been you and yourself against the world. No one is interested in your failures but everyone one will always want a piece of cake from your engagement party to success. Sooner you realise that It’s always has been you who is responsible for all the ups and downs of your life faster you will fathom the reality of never looking up to the world for pity.

Just engrave this in your book of life: You are you and nobody should be able to deny that or take away it from you. This world is and will always we against you but never let that delineate you from the goals and unadulterated love for success. If you want something with enough sedition and dedication there no force powerful enough that will take that away from you.

What is failure

What is failure

It’s the end that will weigh on you till you break. An ultimatum that constantly pester on your free will. The most powerful agent of time that hunts you like the hounds of Hades; always bloodthirsty and out there to shatter hopes, willpower and aspirations. A behemoth ever hungry that is satisfied only with sorrows. A baron of unfulfilled desires trading only on misery. It is like a time pirate lurking in calmness of progress to plunder life and exuberance making you bankrupt of time, always waiting for that one mistake so you fall into its trap. The moment you surrender to its whim you will never be able to taste success. 
But 

If you look into failure’s eye with perseverance and conviction it will definitely bow down to your will and confidence. Then you are in game, you have it under your whip. In fact failure a hurdle till you consider its as one; sooner you realise this faster it metamorphoses to a stepping stone paving the path to success. There’s a yin-yang symbiosis between them , to achieve success you must acknowledge failure. In fact success doesn’t tastes like one if you achieve it without failure. Failure is the rite of passage, a fundamental force that that drives the intricate mechanics of life, an ally! always loyal to you. An inspiration constantly fuelling your inner aura, a prospect with high risks but higher rewards. A success without failure is seldom respected and almost always deemed as luck. So make it you best friend and never blame it for what you have not achieved but embrace if for what it taught you and then it will always lead you to success.