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Life lessons from Lobsters ​

There’s an interesting, urban myth about lobsters. When you cook a pot of male lobsters, you have to keep a lid on the cooking pot because when they realize they’re in a pot of boiling water, they try to escape even-though, they know it is futile. On the contrary, when cooking female lobsters, you don’t need to put a lid on the pot, as they don’t show such willingness to escape as they know there’s no point in fighting a fight, which they have already lost. So, they just hold their claws and brace each other for the impending doom.

Although, this is factually incorrect, as lobster have a ganglionic nervous system and they do not feel pain like us. In fact, boiling or steaming them is the most humane and quickest way to kill. Never the less, this myth still sites a good question about life. Should we die fighting or surrender to the whims of time?

Well, What I feel is, knowing when to surrender or quit is equally important as knowing how to keep on fighting or not giving up. Off course, perseverance and never backing down from a challenge are desired qualities, if you want to be successful in life, relationship or even career. After all, One can’t just give up! There are a thousand reasons for continuing with something past the point where you should stop. But perhaps it might be impossible to “just stop”. However, more often then not we consider perseverance to strive for gold as the only norm for being successful because giving up is labeled, trivial or cowardly. In my opinion, many of the “buts” are mostly a figment of the imagination. In fact, they are just a case of mis-staken identity. You, and your goals are two separate things. Never giving up, is just a load of bullshit that we have brewed ourselves, out of the fear of social judgment and prejudice on our own abilities. We sugarcoat the rationale for not backing off with a pretext of psychological comfort often attributing it to the fear of the unknown, aka atychiphobia or the self-inflicted need of not causing a social uproar by upsetting others, that too, just because we falsely and inconspicuous, assign safety and entropy to perseverance and persistence. This obsession with never giving up is not perseverance, for the lack of a better word it is actually blind persistence. It is this blind persistence that eventually turns any quest into an exhausting and useless ordeal.

Yes!, it is logical to think that, if we were to endure a little longer or persistently work on something, then maybe with time we will fix all the problems and reach our goals. But isn’t it also logical to think, that things don’t always go the way we want them too? Even if we work tirelessly, trying to make things right by overlooking the fact, that our very attempts to fix things might be having a negative impact on them as well as on us. So, instead of being persistent in such futile fixes and enduring the pain and ordeal of living through troubled times among other things, is it not sometimes imperative to give up, just plain, old and simple, “STOP”.

One may argue, Yes!, it is true to let go of our goals and other trivial quests since, they can be readily replaced with other and better ones, but what about jobs, relationships, and friendships? After all, they are not easy to come by, one must work for them if they want to be happy in life. To that I only say this, Sure, working toward a worthwhile goal is elating and exciting but the moment you lose excitement about your achievements you should understand that probably it is not what you wanted, it is just what you do as it is not catering to your innate desires. As Cloris Kylie says and i quote, “You’ve become used to striving and never arriving.”. Although knowing when to quit may seem a convoluted idea but think upon it, not giving up on a job, a relationship or friendships can more often than not, make you unhappy or even physically and emotionally ill. What good a job is, if you are just doing it for the money but have no other incentives or receive no recognition for it; what good a relationship is, if the partners are not committed to it or there is no room for love anymore; what good a friendship is, if you are the only one hooting for it.

If a quest takes over all other aspects of your life then you must learn to let go of it, life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest; all thing that hinders this must be reconsidered by weighing their reason for continuation against that of life itself, because if you let your blind persistence overpower the aspects of your mental, emotional or physical wellbeing then any way you will lose all your physical strength as well as your coveted social assets like friends, family, and love.

OK, enough babel about why one should learn to give up, but how to determine, if it’s time to give up? The simplest and sure shot solution, that I can think of is, asking this question to yourself, What would be my life if I just stopped trying to solve it? And if, your inner aura answers, freedom and exhilaration then probably its time you gave up on it. Agreed that many things are iterative and demand continuous improvements and growth but at the same time, some things remand step changes and the decision to “give up” is one of those. So, it is important that you simply rip off the plaster on them. Painful, yes, but if you don’t, they will end up taking a huge chunk from your life, because just face it, continued work on a Gordian knot, expecting a solution with each iteration will ultimately lead to frustration and unbeknown you will begin to sabotage your own efforts.

It is always advisable to contemplate and reassess the outcome or needs of your goal and, if they seem realistic then you should see to their resolution. If not, it’s best that you reassess your commitment and avarice towards the goal in question. Don’t fall for the “what if ?” rouse. What if, I gave up now and then someone else did the same idea and got rich? What if, I just keep going another month? I recommend, to let your gut feeling guide you. You are most attuned to your intuition, learn to trust them and let them guide you to the places, you’re meant to go, the career you’re meant to have, and the people you’re meant to meet.

Speaking from personal experience, I spent half a decade working for a company, rejecting a job, I actually wanted to do because I had fallen into an agenda about the city I was in. Even-thought it was not stressful, but it sure was hard, my success was measured by random bets and the money was just decent. I was spending time on things that might work, not on things that were working. It was a good candidate to “give up”. The only advice I needed was to hear, “What the hell are you doing?, Just give up”. Not that it wasn’t offered, but perhaps, I didn’t listen, or maybe, I needed someone to give it to me straight. Although I didn’t waste my time there, but the prospect of being locked into something that was not working out, and was actually dragging me down was much worst. In the end, I quit, man was it hard. At first, it was horrible, there were a fair few failure-phobes, few who respected taking it easy more than trying and failing and even those who preferred the dull path. But I feed the inner best, my biggest asset – myself, by giving it up.

Sure, making the decision to give up is not be easy, may even cause you temporary pain, emotional trauma or remorse, but once you overcome these negative emotions, you’ll be able to welcome loving and uplifting thoughts into your life, opening a door to fulfilling and joyful life experiences, setting you on a path of learning, growth, and expansion!

So all in all, here are the 7 erogenous zones to touch when accessing whether to give it or not, not those of women, according to “Monica Gelllller :

  1. Just Listen to yourself
  2. Re-tally your numbers
  3. Get outside evaluation
  4. Be ready to rip off the plaster
  5. Take Atychiphobia head on
  6. Vanquish the “what if” worm, and
  7. Remember the cost of opportunity

7 erogenous zones ​in a women

Further Reading :

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फ़लसफ़ा – (Just a Teaser, Full version coming soon)

इस वक़्त का क्या है,
ये तो यूँ ही चलता रहेगा,
लम्हे, पहरों में और पहर दिनों बदल जायेंगे,
ये उम्र भले ही ना थमे पर आफ़सने थम जायेंगे।

………………….

रूह

काश कुछ ऐसा हो जाए

ये वक्त चलता रहे,

ये लम्हे चलते रहें,

ये पहर चलता रहे,

बस मेरी उम्र थम जाए।

मैं समेट लूँ सारी यादें,

मैं सहेज लूँ सारे पलों को,

देख लूँ जी भर के

उन आँखों को,

इस दुनिया में जिनसे सबसे पहले रूबरू हुआ।

मैं थाम लूँ उस ऊंगली को

जो कभी मुझे थामे चली थी।

वो खिलखिलाती हँसी

जो कभी मेरे साथ खेली थी।

बस इतनी सी ही तो ख्वाहिश है,

बे-वक्त के इस मुसाफिर की।

छोटी सी राह का जिसका

बस तीसरा हिस्सा है बाकी।।

आकर क़रीब अपनों के और थोड़ा,

कुछ और अच्छा कर जाऊँ।

छोटे से इस सफर के

सुकून भरे पलों को

यादों में पिरो जाऊँ।

या फिर

रहकर दूर उनसे,

ग़म के बवन्डर से बचाने को उनको,

बेरूखी वाला मुखौटा ओढ़ जाऊँ।।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि तूने जो भी दिया

झोली भर के दिया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि दिये हुए हौसले से तेरे

अपने दम पर कुछ किया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि कई ख्वाबों को अपने

मैंने हकी़कत में जिया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि जरा से वक्त में ही

तेरे होने को समझ लिया।

ईबादतग़ार हूँ तेरा

शिकायतग़ार नहीं,

कि अलग बनाकर भी तूने

खास बना दिया।। — रूह

This poem is the best gift i have ever received from someone. someone whom i have grown to adore and respect not only for the fitful exuberance but also for the Indefatigable deftness in distilling soulful and picturesque emotion by the infallible sagacity in choice of words that eloquently succour the baroque and beguiling poems.

Thanks M ,

By the way this only of the poems from M rest assured 100’s more to come…..

What is Excitement

The anticipation of something new or unknown is always much more euphoric than that thing itself. Your imagination goes into a frenzy, painting vivid and ebullient pictures of the events about to unfold. You feel giddy, butterflies start titillating your innermost desires, enticing feelings like that, of a new love or the passion of a consummated one. Summoning emotions that transcend mendacity of this pretentious world, absolving you of your dark desires. Yielding an amalgamation of thoughts with emotions & desires that elates you into a trans, as if you have achieved nirvana and are ready to ascend to a final abode.

Excitement is a drug so powerful that even morphine seems like an overrate artisanal water. The whirlwind of thoughts, comotion of emotions and beguilement of desires, that it entrails are like the ubiquitous longing of a chronic methhead. You start contemplating the improbable; imploring to elements to incite time dilation. So, that you can have both the physical and the metaphysical experiences at once.

Though it is hard to comprehend or possibly explain such longings. Perhaps our inner child could explain it as we adults are overly-cautious and intensely disturbed about the directions of our own thrills. Unfortunately and Ironically, the baroque explanations pulled from deepest childhood memories, are so odd to ourselves, that we unwittingly try to repress them.

Enthusiasms arising from excitement is so overwhelming that we thwart for in its obviation. This may sound odd but this enthusiasm is in fact motivated by a search for extrication of truth and eloquence. It not only paints a utopian perspective of things about to unfold but, also provides solutions to the thing we fear; making us feel more at ease, more relaxed and true to ourselves.

What makes life worthwhile 

Be humble to your present, modest about your past but always, always be hopeful of future. Being alive itself is worthwhile, so why bother with the charade of the perpetual motion of the social or religious norms. Just respect what you have today and aim to maintain the same if for some reason you are unable to add-on to it. People say life is a gift but i have always believed it’s lottery. Be thankful to the tide of time for it has brought you to the shore in-spite of the entire universe conspiring against it.
It doesn’t matter whose skeleton sits on the throne because one victory doesn’t make you a conqueror. As, dharmic philosophy says “glory is only once but karma is forever.” So, to make life worthwhile to live try to conquer your fears and conjure courage to undertake deeds not for glory but to quench cosmic karma.

This World

Don’t you feel that even though we say it’s a beautiful world but there is too much prejudice, too much pride and too much attitude out there? I feel that the entire world is insecure and, these insecurities are driving them to the fringes of insanity.

Don’t know why the world holds this odd belief, that it can determine people’s lives and has some sort of control over them. That it can determine their future, choose their spouses, pick professions and influence decisions that shape the course of their lives.

How can it blatantly overlook free-will or perhaps the force more powerful than free-will, the unconscious?

Why doesn’t It realize this simple truth that underneath these suites, behind closed doors everyone is essentially ruled by the same desires? Desires that are raw and dark and deeply shameful.

Why does it fails to comprehend the truth that people are never really who they say they are, hidden underneath there’s always a secret.

Why does it forgets to account for the fact that every one of us is in pursuit of some larger meaning, and we all are just figuring it out? Why hasn’t the world realized that when the ritual of life starts there’s “no master or king, everyone is the same”.

Won’t you agree, that the world should answer these questions before posting, their opinions and prejudice?

People say the world has no regard for you until you force it upon them. But in my opinion, one should not be beguiled by this deceptive myth. This world never ignores. No matter what it will always try and judge you, or throw opinions upon you, or out in the open for others to fiddle with.

Even though the world may lure you with a promises to reciprocate your love but more often than not; It is upon us that we take that love back. Someone recently said to me “give love, take love”  and somehow this makes perfect sense here.

Inspired from Gypsy

To be continued…………in the meanwhile, ponder upon this…..

Can anyone elaborate as to why?
The more I look at someone, someone I love, the more I realize that I don’t know them, and probably I should stop looking, but an incorrigible force in spite of deterrence holds me back. Just like when staring at the sun, you know you should stop but it’s the most intense feeling in the whole world that you can’t help but look.

 

Who are you

Who are you

You are nobody the world doesn’t give a rats ass about your existence. A speck of dust that will be brushed off from history in seconds. All the accomplishments of the lifetime are nothing that the world has never seen or will not see, you are just a phase under passing. Your existence is not essential for the world you are just a probability that happened or may be a conspiracy that physics played to provide entropy to the universe, either way, you are just a random consequence on a cosmic scale.

Lakshmanpur Beach : Havelock Island - Andaman and Nicobar

You may think of yourself to be the smartest but be aware you have not seen the real world out there. No amount of fame or convection will titillate the world or history so that they remember you; history is too quick to judge and too old to bother, you are merely a blimp on time. In fact, for all practical purposes, you don’t exist for this world. You may be a maverick or plane old dogmatic theists but the cogs of time will grind you like a pebble to dust. You must bow to this babbling brook of time and surrender to this reality, the sooner you realise how insignificant you are to the cosmos and how time is a ruthless tyrant, the faster you learn how to assimilate into this breakout black hole.

Remember If Prometheus betrayed titans to help your kind only to be damned for eternity, to be devoured for aeons he must have seen something that made him steal the most coveted power and relinquish it to the feeble mankind. If he could see it then surely you can see or seek it now. Don’t be discontent with this world, it’s as fair to you as it is to the others. Complaining about it will not help you persevere your deeds, you must approach them head on like a Mongol under khan. The perpetual motion of this world will not halt to accommodate you, it’s you who have to hop on to this hurdling spaceship in the ocean of time. If you fall behind you are bound to get crushed under it. No amount of motivation will be incentive enough unless it’s you who want to do it. Success is and has always been elusive, but as long as you don’t garner the courage to propose to it. You must let go of the unnecessary baggages and pseudo sense of control on life. This control is temporal and baggages are just dragging you to the abyss.

As quantum mechanics dictates if you close your eyes the world must cease to exist because its act of observation that brings the true nature of matter as well as reality. In fact, the entirety of the universe is just a probability so it doesn’t matter if you yourself are a probability. Once you learn to see this universe as merely an illusion or may be a simulation brought to inception by your act of observing it.

https://jaapberghoeffotografiedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/mirrored-desires.jpg?w=640&h=396

You will realise the true superpower nature has endowed you with. The emptiness of space as well slumber of the world is and has always been uncomfortable, inhospitable and cruel not only to you but to the entirety of the universe. Never blame circumstances they are just bitter realities that we have created in order to justify our cowardliness. You must learn to break out of the vicious circle; It has always been you and yourself against the world. No one is interested in your failures but everyone one will always want a piece of cake from your engagement party to success. Sooner you realise that It’s always has been you who is responsible for all the ups and downs of your life faster you will fathom the reality of never looking up to the world for pity.

Just engrave this in your book of life: You are you and nobody should be able to deny that or take away it from you. This world is and will always we against you but never let that delineate you from the goals and unadulterated love for success. If you want something with enough sedition and dedication there no force powerful enough that will take that away from you.