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Life lessons from Lobsters ​

There’s an interesting, urban myth about lobsters. When you cook a pot of male lobsters, you have to keep a lid on the cooking pot because when they realize they’re in a pot of boiling water, they try to escape even-though, they know it is futile. On the contrary, when cooking female lobsters, you don’t need to put a lid on the pot, as they don’t show such willingness to escape as they know there’s no point in fighting a fight, which they have already lost. So, they just hold their claws and brace each other for the impending doom.

Although, this is factually incorrect, as lobster have a ganglionic nervous system and they do not feel pain like us. In fact, boiling or steaming them is the most humane and quickest way to kill. Never the less, this myth still sites a good question about life. Should we die fighting or surrender to the whims of time?

Well, What I feel is, knowing when to surrender or quit is equally important as knowing how to keep on fighting or not giving up. Off course, perseverance and never backing down from a challenge are desired qualities, if you want to be successful in life, relationship or even career. After all, One can’t just give up! There are a thousand reasons for continuing with something past the point where you should stop. But perhaps it might be impossible to “just stop”. However, more often then not we consider perseverance to strive for gold as the only norm for being successful because giving up is labeled, trivial or cowardly. In my opinion, many of the “buts” are mostly a figment of the imagination. In fact, they are just a case of mis-staken identity. You, and your goals are two separate things. Never giving up, is just a load of bullshit that we have brewed ourselves, out of the fear of social judgment and prejudice on our own abilities. We sugarcoat the rationale for not backing off with a pretext of psychological comfort often attributing it to the fear of the unknown, aka atychiphobia or the self-inflicted need of not causing a social uproar by upsetting others, that too, just because we falsely and inconspicuous, assign safety and entropy to perseverance and persistence. This obsession with never giving up is not perseverance, for the lack of a better word it is actually blind persistence. It is this blind persistence that eventually turns any quest into an exhausting and useless ordeal.

Yes!, it is logical to think that, if we were to endure a little longer or persistently work on something, then maybe with time we will fix all the problems and reach our goals. But isn’t it also logical to think, that things don’t always go the way we want them too? Even if we work tirelessly, trying to make things right by overlooking the fact, that our very attempts to fix things might be having a negative impact on them as well as on us. So, instead of being persistent in such futile fixes and enduring the pain and ordeal of living through troubled times among other things, is it not sometimes imperative to give up, just plain, old and simple, “STOP”.

One may argue, Yes!, it is true to let go of our goals and other trivial quests since, they can be readily replaced with other and better ones, but what about jobs, relationships, and friendships? After all, they are not easy to come by, one must work for them if they want to be happy in life. To that I only say this, Sure, working toward a worthwhile goal is elating and exciting but the moment you lose excitement about your achievements you should understand that probably it is not what you wanted, it is just what you do as it is not catering to your innate desires. As Cloris Kylie says and i quote, “You’ve become used to striving and never arriving.”. Although knowing when to quit may seem a convoluted idea but think upon it, not giving up on a job, a relationship or friendships can more often than not, make you unhappy or even physically and emotionally ill. What good a job is, if you are just doing it for the money but have no other incentives or receive no recognition for it; what good a relationship is, if the partners are not committed to it or there is no room for love anymore; what good a friendship is, if you are the only one hooting for it.

If a quest takes over all other aspects of your life then you must learn to let go of it, life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest; all thing that hinders this must be reconsidered by weighing their reason for continuation against that of life itself, because if you let your blind persistence overpower the aspects of your mental, emotional or physical wellbeing then any way you will lose all your physical strength as well as your coveted social assets like friends, family, and love.

OK, enough babel about why one should learn to give up, but how to determine, if it’s time to give up? The simplest and sure shot solution, that I can think of is, asking this question to yourself, What would be my life if I just stopped trying to solve it? And if, your inner aura answers, freedom and exhilaration then probably its time you gave up on it. Agreed that many things are iterative and demand continuous improvements and growth but at the same time, some things remand step changes and the decision to “give up” is one of those. So, it is important that you simply rip off the plaster on them. Painful, yes, but if you don’t, they will end up taking a huge chunk from your life, because just face it, continued work on a Gordian knot, expecting a solution with each iteration will ultimately lead to frustration and unbeknown you will begin to sabotage your own efforts.

It is always advisable to contemplate and reassess the outcome or needs of your goal and, if they seem realistic then you should see to their resolution. If not, it’s best that you reassess your commitment and avarice towards the goal in question. Don’t fall for the “what if ?” rouse. What if, I gave up now and then someone else did the same idea and got rich? What if, I just keep going another month? I recommend, to let your gut feeling guide you. You are most attuned to your intuition, learn to trust them and let them guide you to the places, you’re meant to go, the career you’re meant to have, and the people you’re meant to meet.

Speaking from personal experience, I spent half a decade working for a company, rejecting a job, I actually wanted to do because I had fallen into an agenda about the city I was in. Even-thought it was not stressful, but it sure was hard, my success was measured by random bets and the money was just decent. I was spending time on things that might work, not on things that were working. It was a good candidate to “give up”. The only advice I needed was to hear, “What the hell are you doing?, Just give up”. Not that it wasn’t offered, but perhaps, I didn’t listen, or maybe, I needed someone to give it to me straight. Although I didn’t waste my time there, but the prospect of being locked into something that was not working out, and was actually dragging me down was much worst. In the end, I quit, man was it hard. At first, it was horrible, there were a fair few failure-phobes, few who respected taking it easy more than trying and failing and even those who preferred the dull path. But I feed the inner best, my biggest asset – myself, by giving it up.

Sure, making the decision to give up is not be easy, may even cause you temporary pain, emotional trauma or remorse, but once you overcome these negative emotions, you’ll be able to welcome loving and uplifting thoughts into your life, opening a door to fulfilling and joyful life experiences, setting you on a path of learning, growth, and expansion!

So all in all, here are the 7 erogenous zones to touch when accessing whether to give it or not, not those of women, according to “Monica Gelllller :

  1. Just Listen to yourself
  2. Re-tally your numbers
  3. Get outside evaluation
  4. Be ready to rip off the plaster
  5. Take Atychiphobia head on
  6. Vanquish the “what if” worm, and
  7. Remember the cost of opportunity

7 erogenous zones ​in a women

Further Reading :

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Rationally Irational

A while ago someone,

whom i have grown to adore and respect not only for the fitful exuberance but also for the indefatigable deftness in distilling soulful and picturesque emotion by the infallible sagacity in choice of words that eloquently succour the baroque and beguiling poems

Dedicated a poem to me capturing the reflection of my thoughts.

But the thing with thoughts is, they are very tricky and often misleading. Eventhough human thoughts are classified as either rational or irrational but we have this unquenchable urge to always be rational. So, we keep on sugarcoating or disguising even most insane and ludicrous thoughts as rational. Thought rational thoughts, as the definition itself points out, should have scientific or logical coherence but no matter how logically coherent or cohesive you are about realities of life (especially death) such thoughts are always deemed irrational. While no matter how incoherent or illogical hope may be, all thoughts of hope and blissful anticipation are declared rational.

It is this exact attitude of mislabeling and castrating rationality that has led to tossing off and repression of true rational thoughts. Interestingly the well where such thoughts are tossed off has been given a very sophisticated name “The Willpower” so, as to foster a pseudo sense of emotional strength and superiority in repression of such thoughts. We always like to view things under a vanilla light and any complicated or morally challenging topics are dogged off than actually blabbing or admitting to them out in open. Any talk of death or other harsh realities is considered vindictive, chaotic and irrational, overlooking the fact, that somewhere deep within the dungeon of our conscious mind they have an order and a rationale.

So here is my answer to that very poem in the form of an answer (उत्तर ) to a question (प्रश्न), instead of labeling them as rational (तर्क) or irrational (तर्कहीन). It’s up to you, the readers, to decide which title describes which poem, as am just projecting both the rational (तर्क) and irrational (तर्कहीन) out into the open.

Poems

फ़लसफ़ा – (Just a Teaser, Full version coming soon)

इस वक़्त का क्या है,
ये तो यूँ ही चलता रहेगा,
लम्हे, पहरों में और पहर दिनों बदल जायेंगे,
ये उम्र भले ही ना थमे पर आफ़सने थम जायेंगे।

………………….

रूह

काश कुछ ऐसा हो जाए

ये वक्त चलता रहे,

ये लम्हे चलते रहें,

ये पहर चलता रहे,

बस मेरी उम्र थम जाए।

मैं समेट लूँ सारी यादें,

मैं सहेज लूँ सारे पलों को,

देख लूँ जी भर के

उन आँखों को,

इस दुनिया में जिनसे सबसे पहले रूबरू हुआ।

मैं थाम लूँ उस ऊंगली को

जो कभी मुझे थामे चली थी।

वो खिलखिलाती हँसी

जो कभी मेरे साथ खेली थी।

बस इतनी सी ही तो ख्वाहिश है,

बे-वक्त के इस मुसाफिर की।

छोटी सी राह का जिसका

बस तीसरा हिस्सा है बाकी।।

आकर क़रीब अपनों के और थोड़ा,

कुछ और अच्छा कर जाऊँ।

छोटे से इस सफर के

सुकून भरे पलों को

यादों में पिरो जाऊँ।

या फिर

रहकर दूर उनसे,

ग़म के बवन्डर से बचाने को उनको,

बेरूखी वाला मुखौटा ओढ़ जाऊँ।।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि तूने जो भी दिया

झोली भर के दिया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि दिये हुए हौसले से तेरे

अपने दम पर कुछ किया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि कई ख्वाबों को अपने

मैंने हकी़कत में जिया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि जरा से वक्त में ही

तेरे होने को समझ लिया।

ईबादतग़ार हूँ तेरा

शिकायतग़ार नहीं,

कि अलग बनाकर भी तूने

खास बना दिया।। — रूह

This poem is the best gift i have ever received from someone. someone whom i have grown to adore and respect not only for the fitful exuberance but also for the Indefatigable deftness in distilling soulful and picturesque emotion by the infallible sagacity in choice of words that eloquently succour the baroque and beguiling poems.

Thanks M ,

By the way this only of the poems from M rest assured 100’s more to come…..

​ Eternal life or Eternal Youth what would you choose?

Eternity a word that has eluded mankind from aeons. Since, time immemorial mythos and civilisation have been in pursuits eternal life and youth. Even with the advent of science and technology this magnetic attraction has not lost its awe but instead has grown more prominent. The premise of immortality has always been associated with gods and since humans first conceive the notion of god they have been trying to become one.
post your reply : Eternal life or Eternal Youth what would you choose?
a work in progrsss…..will update soon

What is Life? 2.0

What is Life? 2.0
What is life? Isn’t it an abyss full of unrealized dreams and shattered hopes. You may spend an eternity, it’s improbable that you will ever be able to comprehend its grandness or the sheer scale of it. Even if you have the courage to scale its depths to piece together those shattered hopes and unrealized dreams, it will still be an incongruous endeavor.

Nothing matters, you will always remain insouciant and capitulated in a quotidian disarray praying, maybe the next day will better than today. The more you will try, the harder it will become, to end this perpetual commotion and slumber of thoughts or to gaze into that rabbit hole. In fact, a will of steel and wit of a child is needed, to even garner courage of peeping into that bleak hole.
Your inner-voice keep on saying, not to get too bothered, but the bickering world never stops meddling, unless you jump into this chasm. But, the moment you leap over the ledge and plunge into this darkness, a never-ending stream of thoughts overwhelms you. And suddenly you realize that this realm of darkness is not all black, but there’s something to it that is surreal, almost dreamlike.
A dream from which you don’t want to wake up. Though the sense of euphoria accompanying this endless emptiness feels almost haunting and you think maybe you were content without exploring, but in reality, you were much more curious than a 2-year-old child. The adrenaline rush now fuels your inner self to go deeper. And as you go deeper you become more conscious and confident that you are the king of this realm, all you had to do, was try, try what nobody ever tried. The moment you realize this, you will see the darkness giving way to light, and there’s a mirror at the bottom of this never ending Abyss.
It’s you looking at yourself staring at the skies, from the bottom of a well. Staring at a vanilla sky full of hopes, dreams, and aspirations.
Read the original here : What is Life

What is Forgiveness?

When we talk about forgiveness it is very important for all of us . When you don’t forgive someone, you are not hurting your beliefs, you are not hurting the company that did you wrong, you are hurting yourself. 

In fact, Forgiveness is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Everyone should have the ability to forgive. Learning to forgive doesn’t mean you’ll never stand up for yourself, it doesn’t mean you’ll let others hurt you. You are simply telling them how you feel. Forgiveness is, one of the secrets for a long and fruitful life. Forgiveness is not devine it’s simply a feeling that helps you tap into the inner bliss of universal positivity. 


By : Nshika Agarwal, my 11 yrs old cousin.