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Life lessons from Lobsters ​

There’s an interesting, urban myth about lobsters. When you cook a pot of male lobsters, you have to keep a lid on the cooking pot because when they realize they’re in a pot of boiling water, they try to escape even-though, they know it is futile. On the contrary, when cooking female lobsters, you don’t need to put a lid on the pot, as they don’t show such willingness to escape as they know there’s no point in fighting a fight, which they have already lost. So, they just hold their claws and brace each other for the impending doom.

Although, this is factually incorrect, as lobster have a ganglionic nervous system and they do not feel pain like us. In fact, boiling or steaming them is the most humane and quickest way to kill. Never the less, this myth still sites a good question about life. Should we die fighting or surrender to the whims of time?

Well, What I feel is, knowing when to surrender or quit is equally important as knowing how to keep on fighting or not giving up. Off course, perseverance and never backing down from a challenge are desired qualities, if you want to be successful in life, relationship or even career. After all, One can’t just give up! There are a thousand reasons for continuing with something past the point where you should stop. But perhaps it might be impossible to “just stop”. However, more often then not we consider perseverance to strive for gold as the only norm for being successful because giving up is labeled, trivial or cowardly. In my opinion, many of the “buts” are mostly a figment of the imagination. In fact, they are just a case of mis-staken identity. You, and your goals are two separate things. Never giving up, is just a load of bullshit that we have brewed ourselves, out of the fear of social judgment and prejudice on our own abilities. We sugarcoat the rationale for not backing off with a pretext of psychological comfort often attributing it to the fear of the unknown, aka atychiphobia or the self-inflicted need of not causing a social uproar by upsetting others, that too, just because we falsely and inconspicuous, assign safety and entropy to perseverance and persistence. This obsession with never giving up is not perseverance, for the lack of a better word it is actually blind persistence. It is this blind persistence that eventually turns any quest into an exhausting and useless ordeal.

Yes!, it is logical to think that, if we were to endure a little longer or persistently work on something, then maybe with time we will fix all the problems and reach our goals. But isn’t it also logical to think, that things don’t always go the way we want them too? Even if we work tirelessly, trying to make things right by overlooking the fact, that our very attempts to fix things might be having a negative impact on them as well as on us. So, instead of being persistent in such futile fixes and enduring the pain and ordeal of living through troubled times among other things, is it not sometimes imperative to give up, just plain, old and simple, “STOP”.

One may argue, Yes!, it is true to let go of our goals and other trivial quests since, they can be readily replaced with other and better ones, but what about jobs, relationships, and friendships? After all, they are not easy to come by, one must work for them if they want to be happy in life. To that I only say this, Sure, working toward a worthwhile goal is elating and exciting but the moment you lose excitement about your achievements you should understand that probably it is not what you wanted, it is just what you do as it is not catering to your innate desires. As Cloris Kylie says and i quote, “You’ve become used to striving and never arriving.”. Although knowing when to quit may seem a convoluted idea but think upon it, not giving up on a job, a relationship or friendships can more often than not, make you unhappy or even physically and emotionally ill. What good a job is, if you are just doing it for the money but have no other incentives or receive no recognition for it; what good a relationship is, if the partners are not committed to it or there is no room for love anymore; what good a friendship is, if you are the only one hooting for it.

If a quest takes over all other aspects of your life then you must learn to let go of it, life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest; all thing that hinders this must be reconsidered by weighing their reason for continuation against that of life itself, because if you let your blind persistence overpower the aspects of your mental, emotional or physical wellbeing then any way you will lose all your physical strength as well as your coveted social assets like friends, family, and love.

OK, enough babel about why one should learn to give up, but how to determine, if it’s time to give up? The simplest and sure shot solution, that I can think of is, asking this question to yourself, What would be my life if I just stopped trying to solve it? And if, your inner aura answers, freedom and exhilaration then probably its time you gave up on it. Agreed that many things are iterative and demand continuous improvements and growth but at the same time, some things remand step changes and the decision to “give up” is one of those. So, it is important that you simply rip off the plaster on them. Painful, yes, but if you don’t, they will end up taking a huge chunk from your life, because just face it, continued work on a Gordian knot, expecting a solution with each iteration will ultimately lead to frustration and unbeknown you will begin to sabotage your own efforts.

It is always advisable to contemplate and reassess the outcome or needs of your goal and, if they seem realistic then you should see to their resolution. If not, it’s best that you reassess your commitment and avarice towards the goal in question. Don’t fall for the “what if ?” rouse. What if, I gave up now and then someone else did the same idea and got rich? What if, I just keep going another month? I recommend, to let your gut feeling guide you. You are most attuned to your intuition, learn to trust them and let them guide you to the places, you’re meant to go, the career you’re meant to have, and the people you’re meant to meet.

Speaking from personal experience, I spent half a decade working for a company, rejecting a job, I actually wanted to do because I had fallen into an agenda about the city I was in. Even-thought it was not stressful, but it sure was hard, my success was measured by random bets and the money was just decent. I was spending time on things that might work, not on things that were working. It was a good candidate to “give up”. The only advice I needed was to hear, “What the hell are you doing?, Just give up”. Not that it wasn’t offered, but perhaps, I didn’t listen, or maybe, I needed someone to give it to me straight. Although I didn’t waste my time there, but the prospect of being locked into something that was not working out, and was actually dragging me down was much worst. In the end, I quit, man was it hard. At first, it was horrible, there were a fair few failure-phobes, few who respected taking it easy more than trying and failing and even those who preferred the dull path. But I feed the inner best, my biggest asset – myself, by giving it up.

Sure, making the decision to give up is not be easy, may even cause you temporary pain, emotional trauma or remorse, but once you overcome these negative emotions, you’ll be able to welcome loving and uplifting thoughts into your life, opening a door to fulfilling and joyful life experiences, setting you on a path of learning, growth, and expansion!

So all in all, here are the 7 erogenous zones to touch when accessing whether to give it or not, not those of women, according to “Monica Gelllller :

  1. Just Listen to yourself
  2. Re-tally your numbers
  3. Get outside evaluation
  4. Be ready to rip off the plaster
  5. Take Atychiphobia head on
  6. Vanquish the “what if” worm, and
  7. Remember the cost of opportunity

7 erogenous zones ​in a women

Further Reading :

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रूह

काश कुछ ऐसा हो जाए

ये वक्त चलता रहे,

ये लम्हे चलते रहें,

ये पहर चलता रहे,

बस मेरी उम्र थम जाए।

मैं समेट लूँ सारी यादें,

मैं सहेज लूँ सारे पलों को,

देख लूँ जी भर के

उन आँखों को,

इस दुनिया में जिनसे सबसे पहले रूबरू हुआ।

मैं थाम लूँ उस ऊंगली को

जो कभी मुझे थामे चली थी।

वो खिलखिलाती हँसी

जो कभी मेरे साथ खेली थी।

बस इतनी सी ही तो ख्वाहिश है,

बे-वक्त के इस मुसाफिर की।

छोटी सी राह का जिसका

बस तीसरा हिस्सा है बाकी।।

आकर क़रीब अपनों के और थोड़ा,

कुछ और अच्छा कर जाऊँ।

छोटे से इस सफर के

सुकून भरे पलों को

यादों में पिरो जाऊँ।

या फिर

रहकर दूर उनसे,

ग़म के बवन्डर से बचाने को उनको,

बेरूखी वाला मुखौटा ओढ़ जाऊँ।।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि तूने जो भी दिया

झोली भर के दिया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि दिये हुए हौसले से तेरे

अपने दम पर कुछ किया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि कई ख्वाबों को अपने

मैंने हकी़कत में जिया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि जरा से वक्त में ही

तेरे होने को समझ लिया।

ईबादतग़ार हूँ तेरा

शिकायतग़ार नहीं,

कि अलग बनाकर भी तूने

खास बना दिया।। — रूह

This poem is the best gift i have ever received from someone. someone whom i have grown to adore and respect not only for the fitful exuberance but also for the Indefatigable deftness in distilling soulful and picturesque emotion by the infallible sagacity in choice of words that eloquently succour the baroque and beguiling poems.

Thanks M ,

By the way this only of the poems from M rest assured 100’s more to come…..

​ The Good and The Bad, Leaders

​ The Good and The Bad, Leaders

In reality, there is no such thing as a good leader. Who is good and who is bad, mainly depends upon the context or the period in concern. One leader is good while the other one is bad, not because some leaders are monsters while others merciful. But because states don’t have interests, people do.

Everything in politics from war to foreign aid, to political dynasties to corruption, is all about survival and power, not about welfare or doing good for the society.

Always, remember bad behavior is almost always good politics.
After all, no king can be good, kind, or glorious if his royal subjects are poor.

Here are a few points that may help you make your own inference.

  • Political Generosity:
    It’s is not about strategy or purpose; it’s about benefits because power always begets Power. Political Generosity is merely a means to get the community or state to make choices and actions that they want.
    [examples: West Bengal’s Ruling parties, outrageous generosity to a specific community]
  • Good Governance and Policies:
    Why? do you think, it’s even a thing? Certainly, not because the leaders care about social justice and welfare, or out of the goodness of their hearts. They are so as to reward the blocks that get and keeps them in power.
    [examples: Right to Information Act. by UPA in India, A clean Ganga mission by almost every government since 1985 but virtually no result ever]
  • Altruism:
    Even if certain actions by ruling parties look altruistic, but leaders are not meant to be altruistic. It simply isn’t their bean stock. Instead, they must balance the interests of their keys to power no matter how big or small.
    [Examples: Demonetization in India, 100% allowance to Foreign Direct Investment by the ruling party which vehemently opposed the same when they were in opposition]
  • Citizen Welfare and Growth:
    It’s not because leaders in democracies are better people or even because their needs are aligned with a larger portion of the population. But because the things that make the citizens more productive in a democracy, also make the lives of their leaders better.

    Dictatorships have most of their wealth dug out of the ground, like gold or oil or diamonds which can be exploited even while keeping the citizens, outside the production cycle; hence, no need for welfare and concern for citizen growth. As a matter of fact, this will hold true even for democracies, if they were suddenly to stumble upon huge reserves of natural resources as decreed by the Natural Resource Curse principal.
    [Example: Communism in West Bengal or Odisha, The league of bad chief ministers in Jharkhand]

Image CC

 

Spirituality and India

What is spirituality?

Its was an alien concept in India, Only the west knew spirituality. The word spirituality was defined by Christians. India never wanted spirituality.
All india wanted was to be a salve to dharma a concept far boarded and complex then spirituality.
Dharma a 1000’s of years old concept that almost per-dates religion itself or say spirituality.
Yes! dharma is not religion. Its more a way of life or perhaps a pathway that leads to a peaceful of life.
This concept was lost somewhere along the history. Now a days spirituality starts with money and ends with money.
We have some how got it mixed with the ridiculous notion that listening to hypocrite and god-men rant random verses from books of wisdom is spirituality.
Spirituality is not something you can earn its something that can only be experienced. You cannot share it nor can you preach it.
Yes indeed, India or for that matter the entire world lacks spirituality. We have polluted it with religion and terms like self-discovery.
Spirituality is more about self-belief, awareness and empathy.

What makes life worthwhile 

Be humble to your present, modest about your past but always, always be hopeful of future. Being alive itself is worthwhile, so why bother with the charade of the perpetual motion of the social or religious norms. Just respect what you have today and aim to maintain the same if for some reason you are unable to add-on to it. People say life is a gift but i have always believed it’s lottery. Be thankful to the tide of time for it has brought you to the shore in-spite of the entire universe conspiring against it.
It doesn’t matter whose skeleton sits on the throne because one victory doesn’t make you a conqueror. As, dharmic philosophy says “glory is only once but karma is forever.” So, to make life worthwhile to live try to conquer your fears and conjure courage to undertake deeds not for glory but to quench cosmic karma.

Rumbles of an Insomniac

It’s 4 A.M suddenly you wake up, the room is dark yet lit with a tint of green, from that feeble LED of your air conditioner. The Space is shrouded in serene calmness, breached only by occasional gusts of wind rattling against the window pane. Those wall hanging look irksome from an ominous tint of green. The familiar shapes seem to have morphed into something alien. Occasionally the ceiling is flooded with shades of yellow, lurking out from the top of the curtain, hiding you from the outside world. These yellow streaks paint distorted figurines that crisscross from one corner of the room to the other. Followed by a muffled but, distinct rumble moving away from you.
You close your eyes only to open them again as if taking a mental picture of this surreal moment. Your focus is now affixed to a strange, yet calming rhythmic throbbing. Trying to figure its source you hold your breath only to realize it was you; That Rhythm is your heart. You continue to listen to it, only to be disrupted, when you gasp for your breath.
Again you lie perfectly still gazing into the tints of green on the ceiling like a moth enticed by the flame, contemplating your existential existence. Slowly drifting into the nostalgia of past. Thinking of friends lost, goof-ups in school and screw-ups of college. While the resentments for opportunities lost, drown you into a faded, washed out and muffled flashback. A flashback that overwhelms your subconscious, drenching it with the realization of loss and pain. Your thought train is now off the rails. But, the calmness of night lures you back into the terms with reality, reassuring you of a brighter future. A future of which you are as weary as of the past but still as sure as of the present.
This turmoil of emotions has ignited a strange craving for food. It seems your mind is playing tricks and is somehow misinterpreting emotional void as metabolic need. Now you must jostle that owl off your shoulder and set out on a prowl to hunt for food. You fumble your way across the room into the pitch black hallway making your way to the kitchen off of the mental map. A strange itch accompanied by the butterflies in the stomach, from the anticipation that, you might run into that expensive vase in the hallway or maybe hit your head into a wall or something gains upon you. Finally, you reach the kitchen. Start by raiding the fridge and all the know stashes of motherly love. Only to settle for a stale piece of crap.
Now you are back in your cave, nibbling off that crap whilst fiddling with night lamp making funny shadows on the wall. All the mental commotion, anxiety and nostalgia have subsided. You are now struggling to get that tune out of your head, counting hours of sleep left before you have to wake up and face that torturous world again………zzzzzzzz….zzzzzzz.
Though darkness is evil, the darkness of night is not necessarily the one.
In fact, I think that it’s the darkness of night that wakes the subconscious.
Jostles your fear, giving way to courage.
After all, the millions of years of evolution were to help your ancient self, survive the hostility of night.

A letter to Destiny

To Destiny
Cloud Nine, Kismat Lane,
Opp. Luck, Fate —101
Neverland

Dear Destiny,

It’s been ages! How are you? Or rather, where have you been??

I know you may not remember me as our paths have not crossed since our first encounter but please bare with me. This may jog your memory. I am that same weird lump hanging upside down, naked, crying while a strange creature was smacking my tushy; “Ankit”. In fact, you were the love at first sight for my mom since she saw you there.

First, I must admit, I have since, I was a kid wondered why or what did you promised her during that meeting that she fell for you much harder for you than I ever did. Many times, I wish I could go back to that room and listen to your conversation with her. Even though 20, 25 odd years have passed this question and a few others still perplexes me. Thus, to crush the curiosity bug in my grey matter I am writing this letter to you.

Anyways, I am getting ahead of myself. What I want to tell you is that there is no place in the world that I haven’t looked for you. Ironically, I stumbled upon your address when I abandoned the accepted societal myth, that only those who fell into the chasm of the rat race for money, fame, and success will ever find you. Therefore, you may rest assured I won’t grill you about money or fame.

So, here goes.

Every myth I have ever heard about you had these things in common:
1. Only you and, you alone determine the success
2. You are elusive
3. No amount of Hard work or toil can change you.

Are they true? I need an answer from the horse’s mouth.

Because in my opinion its other way around. I believe only hard work and dedication can seduce success, you are merely an auditor who can easily be bribed by dedication and determination. I don’t know why, every time I see a post on Facebook praising you, every time I see couples on Instagram posting wedding pics hailing you. I smile, I smile sarcastically. Am I broken? or is this out of jealousy! Please, break it down for me.

How! can you be elusive? If, every damm ape assumes (that too, right from birth) that he/she is destined to be rich, famous and successful. Everrry…time, I zorb through snap chats or hashtags all I ever see are hordes of witless and phonies sighting you as their best pal. Which makes me wonder, have I been living under a rock that I didn’t even receive a postcard from you in all these years. Not that I am complaining or am mad at you. But at least a hello couldn’t have hurt. Anyhow, I hope and wish that you remain lifelong friends with them. I am really very proud of you for stepping up for them. Though I miss you but am content with my Tweedle-dee [hard work] and Tweedle-dum [hope and aspirations] for now.

Ok, before I forget. What did you say to my mom during that meeting that made her fell in love with you? I have only heard her version of things. According to her, you told her a secret. Which was “If, I ever didn’t feel happy or life seemed to be slightly dim then I must remember, it’s temporary as you[destiny] are just testing my worthiness since you[destiny] have big plans for me”.

Considering you two haven’t met or talked in ages since that last encounter, I think, your exact words were lost in translation. Correct me if my version of things is wrong. But, I think you might have said, something on these lines “Even though you[destiny] have big plans and hopes for me but only my inner conviction and perseverance will help me achieve what you[destiny] have planned for me.”

All, these years while searching for you, have made me realize. That life is meant to be hard but even a vague promise by a compassionate stranger [stranger being you] can make it extraordinary in the hopes that maybe he is seeing something good that we are still to experience or stumble upon. These promises may last a lifetime or become distant memories. But you know what? It’s okay because at least it provides solace in the fact that Sometimes life just gets in the way but still we must continue growing up and changing ourselves.

Remember, i will always be waiting for the day to be your host. And, thanks for not dozing off like ross while reading this letter in which I have rambled on for 2 pages “FRONT AND BACK”!!!!! 😊

Yours,
Ankit

If Undelivered Please return :
To, Ankit
Third Rock from the Sun,
by the ocean of opportunities,
on the boat of hope,
paddling away with oars of success