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Life lessons from Lobsters ​

There’s an interesting, urban myth about lobsters. When you cook a pot of male lobsters, you have to keep a lid on the cooking pot because when they realize they’re in a pot of boiling water, they try to escape even-though, they know it is futile. On the contrary, when cooking female lobsters, you don’t need to put a lid on the pot, as they don’t show such willingness to escape as they know there’s no point in fighting a fight, which they have already lost. So, they just hold their claws and brace each other for the impending doom.

Although, this is factually incorrect, as lobster have a ganglionic nervous system and they do not feel pain like us. In fact, boiling or steaming them is the most humane and quickest way to kill. Never the less, this myth still sites a good question about life. Should we die fighting or surrender to the whims of time?

Well, What I feel is, knowing when to surrender or quit is equally important as knowing how to keep on fighting or not giving up. Off course, perseverance and never backing down from a challenge are desired qualities, if you want to be successful in life, relationship or even career. After all, One can’t just give up! There are a thousand reasons for continuing with something past the point where you should stop. But perhaps it might be impossible to “just stop”. However, more often then not we consider perseverance to strive for gold as the only norm for being successful because giving up is labeled, trivial or cowardly. In my opinion, many of the “buts” are mostly a figment of the imagination. In fact, they are just a case of mis-staken identity. You, and your goals are two separate things. Never giving up, is just a load of bullshit that we have brewed ourselves, out of the fear of social judgment and prejudice on our own abilities. We sugarcoat the rationale for not backing off with a pretext of psychological comfort often attributing it to the fear of the unknown, aka atychiphobia or the self-inflicted need of not causing a social uproar by upsetting others, that too, just because we falsely and inconspicuous, assign safety and entropy to perseverance and persistence. This obsession with never giving up is not perseverance, for the lack of a better word it is actually blind persistence. It is this blind persistence that eventually turns any quest into an exhausting and useless ordeal.

Yes!, it is logical to think that, if we were to endure a little longer or persistently work on something, then maybe with time we will fix all the problems and reach our goals. But isn’t it also logical to think, that things don’t always go the way we want them too? Even if we work tirelessly, trying to make things right by overlooking the fact, that our very attempts to fix things might be having a negative impact on them as well as on us. So, instead of being persistent in such futile fixes and enduring the pain and ordeal of living through troubled times among other things, is it not sometimes imperative to give up, just plain, old and simple, “STOP”.

One may argue, Yes!, it is true to let go of our goals and other trivial quests since, they can be readily replaced with other and better ones, but what about jobs, relationships, and friendships? After all, they are not easy to come by, one must work for them if they want to be happy in life. To that I only say this, Sure, working toward a worthwhile goal is elating and exciting but the moment you lose excitement about your achievements you should understand that probably it is not what you wanted, it is just what you do as it is not catering to your innate desires. As Cloris Kylie says and i quote, “You’ve become used to striving and never arriving.”. Although knowing when to quit may seem a convoluted idea but think upon it, not giving up on a job, a relationship or friendships can more often than not, make you unhappy or even physically and emotionally ill. What good a job is, if you are just doing it for the money but have no other incentives or receive no recognition for it; what good a relationship is, if the partners are not committed to it or there is no room for love anymore; what good a friendship is, if you are the only one hooting for it.

If a quest takes over all other aspects of your life then you must learn to let go of it, life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest; all thing that hinders this must be reconsidered by weighing their reason for continuation against that of life itself, because if you let your blind persistence overpower the aspects of your mental, emotional or physical wellbeing then any way you will lose all your physical strength as well as your coveted social assets like friends, family, and love.

OK, enough babel about why one should learn to give up, but how to determine, if it’s time to give up? The simplest and sure shot solution, that I can think of is, asking this question to yourself, What would be my life if I just stopped trying to solve it? And if, your inner aura answers, freedom and exhilaration then probably its time you gave up on it. Agreed that many things are iterative and demand continuous improvements and growth but at the same time, some things remand step changes and the decision to “give up” is one of those. So, it is important that you simply rip off the plaster on them. Painful, yes, but if you don’t, they will end up taking a huge chunk from your life, because just face it, continued work on a Gordian knot, expecting a solution with each iteration will ultimately lead to frustration and unbeknown you will begin to sabotage your own efforts.

It is always advisable to contemplate and reassess the outcome or needs of your goal and, if they seem realistic then you should see to their resolution. If not, it’s best that you reassess your commitment and avarice towards the goal in question. Don’t fall for the “what if ?” rouse. What if, I gave up now and then someone else did the same idea and got rich? What if, I just keep going another month? I recommend, to let your gut feeling guide you. You are most attuned to your intuition, learn to trust them and let them guide you to the places, you’re meant to go, the career you’re meant to have, and the people you’re meant to meet.

Speaking from personal experience, I spent half a decade working for a company, rejecting a job, I actually wanted to do because I had fallen into an agenda about the city I was in. Even-thought it was not stressful, but it sure was hard, my success was measured by random bets and the money was just decent. I was spending time on things that might work, not on things that were working. It was a good candidate to “give up”. The only advice I needed was to hear, “What the hell are you doing?, Just give up”. Not that it wasn’t offered, but perhaps, I didn’t listen, or maybe, I needed someone to give it to me straight. Although I didn’t waste my time there, but the prospect of being locked into something that was not working out, and was actually dragging me down was much worst. In the end, I quit, man was it hard. At first, it was horrible, there were a fair few failure-phobes, few who respected taking it easy more than trying and failing and even those who preferred the dull path. But I feed the inner best, my biggest asset – myself, by giving it up.

Sure, making the decision to give up is not be easy, may even cause you temporary pain, emotional trauma or remorse, but once you overcome these negative emotions, you’ll be able to welcome loving and uplifting thoughts into your life, opening a door to fulfilling and joyful life experiences, setting you on a path of learning, growth, and expansion!

So all in all, here are the 7 erogenous zones to touch when accessing whether to give it or not, not those of women, according to “Monica Gelllller :

  1. Just Listen to yourself
  2. Re-tally your numbers
  3. Get outside evaluation
  4. Be ready to rip off the plaster
  5. Take Atychiphobia head on
  6. Vanquish the “what if” worm, and
  7. Remember the cost of opportunity

7 erogenous zones ​in a women

Further Reading :

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रूह

काश कुछ ऐसा हो जाए

ये वक्त चलता रहे,

ये लम्हे चलते रहें,

ये पहर चलता रहे,

बस मेरी उम्र थम जाए।

मैं समेट लूँ सारी यादें,

मैं सहेज लूँ सारे पलों को,

देख लूँ जी भर के

उन आँखों को,

इस दुनिया में जिनसे सबसे पहले रूबरू हुआ।

मैं थाम लूँ उस ऊंगली को

जो कभी मुझे थामे चली थी।

वो खिलखिलाती हँसी

जो कभी मेरे साथ खेली थी।

बस इतनी सी ही तो ख्वाहिश है,

बे-वक्त के इस मुसाफिर की।

छोटी सी राह का जिसका

बस तीसरा हिस्सा है बाकी।।

आकर क़रीब अपनों के और थोड़ा,

कुछ और अच्छा कर जाऊँ।

छोटे से इस सफर के

सुकून भरे पलों को

यादों में पिरो जाऊँ।

या फिर

रहकर दूर उनसे,

ग़म के बवन्डर से बचाने को उनको,

बेरूखी वाला मुखौटा ओढ़ जाऊँ।।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि तूने जो भी दिया

झोली भर के दिया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि दिये हुए हौसले से तेरे

अपने दम पर कुछ किया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि कई ख्वाबों को अपने

मैंने हकी़कत में जिया।

रहगुज़र हूँ तेरा,

कि जरा से वक्त में ही

तेरे होने को समझ लिया।

ईबादतग़ार हूँ तेरा

शिकायतग़ार नहीं,

कि अलग बनाकर भी तूने

खास बना दिया।। — रूह

This poem is the best gift i have ever received from someone. someone whom i have grown to adore and respect not only for the fitful exuberance but also for the Indefatigable deftness in distilling soulful and picturesque emotion by the infallible sagacity in choice of words that eloquently succour the baroque and beguiling poems.

Thanks M ,

By the way this only of the poems from M rest assured 100’s more to come…..

GOD, a product by humans

If god created men in his own image, I have no interest in meeting him

Humans, A species that has the misguided pride of being the only sentient beings in the known universe. In reality, they are the worst scavengers this universe will ever see. Their tendency to destroy anything or everything that is beautiful has no match, except for black holes maybe. Just Look the world around you, can you see a single ounce of beauty as it was meant to be. Their stupidity and greed knows no limit. They fight like rabid dogs over most ridiculous and unreal issues. They plunder and rape morality and sanity over unworthy buffoons and idols while seeking justice in rubbish and trashy works of fiction. And the saddest part is; to ease their burden of guilt; they have crafted a very clever workaround.

Humans with their infinite imagination, have concocted an omnipotent and omnipresent fictional character called “GOD” packaged in a sturdy box called religion. So, that they can easily pass their baton of guilt and burden of forgiveness on to him. They even added a tag line to this concoction for added spectacle, “To err is human; to forgive is divine.”

But the irony in this is, during this extravaganza endeavor they grossly overlooked a fact. The fact that, if this omnipresent and omniscient being, was supposed to be the creator of them in his own true image. Then doesn’t the tag line, in turn, implies that he himself was flawed. Doesn’t it render the whole concept of a great almighty creator as nefarious and illogical?

Just think about it,
Would you want your best creation to be inherently flawed?
Would you instill qualities in them that are deemed unworthy and flawed?
Or,
Why would you create greed, envy, wrath, sloth, gluttony, lust and pride?
If, they are the very flaws you want to rinse out, even from yourself.

Yet, interestingly enough these feeble minded dim wits have an explanation for it. A grossly oversimplified yet, misleading one. An explanation which itself begs the questions. If, he was so angry that he condemned his own creation to these sins then wasn’t he himself committing the sin of wrath and pride.

Alas! if, this frenzy stopped here. These so called, “Sentients” even crafted convoluted terms and conditions outlining their self-justifying and self-validating theories, to go along with their scam of a product. A sort of disclaimer which basically states that, even if they commit any one of the deadly sins, they are not to be blamed, as it’s not them, but some higher power conspiring against them and their beloved product called “Religion”. In fact, they even stamped this fraudulent claim as bigotry. Though this is both foolish and blind prejudice. Still, in the due time, it has transmuted into a real hard fact.

If only, they could experience, what actual bigotry is? Perhaps then, they could see the ugliness of this deceptive product.If only, these liars could somehow irrevocably understand that sins are not the real problem, but they themselves are.The hard and undeniable truth is, they indeed opened the Pandora’s box with this radical product of theirs. And are now playing the devil’s advocate themselves.

But, what bothers me the most is,
Their oblivious dependence on gods, prophets or messiahs.
Their reliance and faith in the facts stated in dithered and fictional works of literature which even a buffoon could tell were pure garbage.

Their capacity to inflict pain and brainwash entire generations into a hoax of a product in fancy packing.Their confusing, yet methodical approach to conform feeble minded brethren to their false beliefs and misguided morality.

I believe, it’s about time that this defective and expired product was pulled off the shelves and incinerated into oblivion from which it emanated in the first place. If this plagued product is allowed to run amok as it has been for millennia, then we are sure to face an armageddon in-spite of our prowess in scientific or technological avenues. Even though human logic and imagination knows, no rival but, it definitely faces rivalry from this creation of theirs.

And I watched

I watched as the clouds rolled away,
I watched as the birds flew chasing them;
And, I watched as the world hustled on indifferently.

I watched as the rain fell towards the earth,
I watched as the earth quenched its thirst from the rain;
And, I watched as the world carried on.

I watched as the sun went below the horizon,
I watched as the horizon embraced the sun;
And, I watched as the world embraced the darkness.

I watched as the light pierced the darkness,
I watched as the darkness surrendered to the light;
And, I watched as the world turn its eyes on this serenity.

And I watched …….


​​

This World

Don’t you feel that even though we say it’s a beautiful world but there is too much prejudice, too much pride and too much attitude out there? I feel that the entire world is insecure and, these insecurities are driving them to the fringes of insanity.

Don’t know why the world holds this odd belief, that it can determine people’s lives and has some sort of control over them. That it can determine their future, choose their spouses, pick professions and influence decisions that shape the course of their lives.

How can it blatantly overlook free-will or perhaps the force more powerful than free-will, the unconscious?

Why doesn’t It realize this simple truth that underneath these suites, behind closed doors everyone is essentially ruled by the same desires? Desires that are raw and dark and deeply shameful.

Why does it fails to comprehend the truth that people are never really who they say they are, hidden underneath there’s always a secret.

Why does it forgets to account for the fact that every one of us is in pursuit of some larger meaning, and we all are just figuring it out? Why hasn’t the world realized that when the ritual of life starts there’s “no master or king, everyone is the same”.

Won’t you agree, that the world should answer these questions before posting, their opinions and prejudice?

People say the world has no regard for you until you force it upon them. But in my opinion, one should not be beguiled by this deceptive myth. This world never ignores. No matter what it will always try and judge you, or throw opinions upon you, or out in the open for others to fiddle with.

Even though the world may lure you with a promises to reciprocate your love but more often than not; It is upon us that we take that love back. Someone recently said to me “give love, take love”  and somehow this makes perfect sense here.

Inspired from Gypsy

To be continued…………in the meanwhile, ponder upon this…..

Can anyone elaborate as to why?
The more I look at someone, someone I love, the more I realize that I don’t know them, and probably I should stop looking, but an incorrigible force in spite of deterrence holds me back. Just like when staring at the sun, you know you should stop but it’s the most intense feeling in the whole world that you can’t help but look.